This bag of skittles is never-ending. Every time I run my tongue over my teeth I feel a little bit ill. My feet are fast falling asleep and my spine is permanently bent like the branch of a weeping willow heavy laden down with snow or rain or some form of heavy precipitation. All I want to do is have you read me something nice out of Leaves of Grass and make love to you directly but you're so far away. You're so far away and I'm not really sure how I lived in such close proximity to you for years before I came to realize that you're part of me. I can't remember what it was like not knowing you. I couldn't have really been alive.

I keep thinking about all of these things that might be wrong with me. I already have a tumor. I mean, it's benign, but the thought that something is growing inside of my body, beyond my control, makes me feel crazy. I keep having all these pains in my joints. The doctor told me that I'm double-jointed, which makes no sense because I'm not flexible at all and I read this thing online about hypermobility--the technical term for being double-jointed--that said those afflicted can do crazy things like putting their leg behind their head or some shit. I can't do that.

So I was browsing the inter-web and came across this article about lupus and it scared the living goodness out of me so now all I can think about is ah what if I have lupus or some other weird disease that even Dr. House couldn't cure and oh my God I'm dying and my life is going by so quickly and I'm wasting wasting wasting it. Maybe I'm just over thinking it.

I'm just so damn angry for no good reason.