My best friend is sitting at the foot of my bed reading Song of Myself. She thinks that I am starting the final draft of my senior paper. So does my father. Little do they know, I'm really blogging. It's convincing, too. I'm typing with gumption, quick and fast, jotting all of these thoughts down, but they aren't about soldering or the specifics of amplification technology.
Sometime tonight, I'm actually going to do this paper. It haunts me. When I lay down at night to go to sleep, my paper crawls in and stops up my ears so that all I can hear is my own sanity crying "Mercy!"
I just keep thinking to myself, If I fail this thing, I don't graduate. From there, each thought just spirals downward. Which is why I'm not going to think about that right now.
I'm not a "risk-taker." I don't do "crazy" things. I don't "put myself out there."
I think I'm finally going to take a risk. I'm not going to say it here. If I did, you would realize how childish I am. To a lot of people, it's just like, whatever. But to me it's a BFD.
Caitlyn was just like, "You can't sit on the sidelines forever. You only live once," locker room type talk.
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