Lovely.

I haven't blogged in a while. I miss it, but I feel like I'm just going to whine about how dissatisfied I am. I can't remember what I've blogged about before. I don't want to be repeating myself.

I had a pint of blood sucked out of me yesterday. I have never had any of my blood taken from me in any way until then. I was so nervous when I was spread out of that abnormally tall beach chair. I was in between two kids at school that I don't dislike; the gospel choir kid was on my right, and the chill hipster on my left. Reassuring.

I was really expecting the needle to hurt worse than it did. Honestly, the finger prick in the very beginning the most painful part, although I got a bit woozy when I actually thought about what was happening to my body. I tried to look at the blood bag by my side, but my nurse was like, "Hey now, no peeking." She knew me so well.

I got free nutter butters at the end of the procedure, and awkwardly listened to these kids avoiding the stories behind their inside jokes. You know what I'm talking about.
Kid 1: "HAH! Black banana peels! Oh, those were the days."
Kid 2: "Harharhar, yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah....."
Me: "..."

I've been really down lately. And it's almost Christmas. How terrible am I? I feel like such a Scrooge, and I've never felt like that before.

Someone on my Twitter timeline just said something about how Christmas is supposed to be a time for thanksgiving, not for sulking. I feel like she was talking directly to me.

The worse part is I don't even know why I feel the way I do. It's like there is something missing, there's a hole. I know that's so cliche, but it's the truth.

Every time I drive, I crank up whatever is in my CD player so loud I can't think about anything except for the words assaulting my ears. I just scream along with it. I try to limit this extreme to my nighttime driving. It's really a sight for sore eyes.

Yesterday, when I was driving home from my friend's, I blared Laura Marling and just cried. The hole was filled for a few minutes, until I pulled into the driveway and shut off my car. Then it came right back, the zeitgeist of my happiness.

I've been looking for an excuse to use the word zeitgeist; apparently, it's the word of the week. I'm not totally sure that I used it right. But it sounds good.

You probably think I'm such a sad person, but I'm really not. The majority of the time I'm pretty darn happy. I'm hoping this is just a phase.

I want to write so much more, but I don't want to bore you.