I'm old.

I am pretty close to being two decades old. It feels like life hasn't even begun, and it's almost one-fifth over.

Three years ago, I began high school, and in a few months, I will graduate. I still feel like an awkward middle schooler. I feel like I've been cheated out of the "high school experience". I never scored the winning goal, I still haven't attained the "high school sweetheart," not that I want/need one, and I've spent half of my teenage life immersed in the lives of fictional characters. Don't get me wrong, a lot of fun stuff happened, but it is much easier to think of the sucky things, rather than the magnificent ones. Maybe I'm a pessimist.

Sometimes I wish I could just move to an island where no one else lives. I could live off of the land: climb up in the coconut trees for dinner, carve arrows out of rocks with other rocks, and spear fish. I could even bring a volleyball friend with me. I always say things like, "I don't like people," but really, I think I love people. Without other people, my life would be so dull. And I wouldn't laugh, thus, I wouldn't be happy. So, really, if I did find that hypothetical island, I still wouldn't be happy.

I want to say something about 9/11, but I won't say anything that hasn't already been said. It's strange how everyone remembers exactly where they were when it happened. I was at school. I don't remember clearly what happened, I just recall the frightened looks on the teachers faces as they escorted us to our school buses early that day in second grade. It shook everyoneup, and it still does today. The footage doesn't even look real.

A lot of people ask things like, "Why did happen?" or, "Why would God allow those evil people to live?" Sometimes I still don't get it. All I know is, people have free will, and so many are broken. Free will plus brokenness doesn't have the best sum. God still loves us, even when things like that happen.

God be with those families who were affected by the 9/11 attacks. Heal broken hearts, feed hungry spirits. Give our leaders the strength, direction, and motivation to pull our country through our financial and moral predicaments, put party affiliations to the side, and put their people first.